What did I say about 'smartyfartypants' commenters?

Is a 'tamarind monkey' like a Tamarin but tastier?

[SLOW HAND CLAP]

Yes, it is an integral part of a Simian Pad Thai.

One More To Go On The Road

Wee small hour posting - my only kind

We may be champions, but there's still cliches to play for. I pondered renting a trio of trained golden tamarind monkeys (hey, they got style) to take up the first three spots in my team, while I filled the fourth, but I realised this would be a) disrespectful to my team of ultra-capable homo sapiens b) insanely expensive and on the impossible side, logistically speaking and, finally, c) far too batshit crazy for normal life, especially a sedate Sunday in President's Cup land.

So it came down to Brian answering the last question for a two-pointer to win the game for London. The question, we believed and feared had been predetermined by the only incomplete pair (first half: the O.T. book of Ruth), but surely, as this was the Prez-Cup, the Jack and Jilliness of it all wouldn't mean that the only other Biblical book named after a lady was coming, dear, saviour Esther, whom Jack (that's Welsby, not broken head question lingo Jack) had said as a wrong answer (which is another problem with Jack and Jill, those naughty nursery rhyme scamps) when he was asked about Ruth.

Alas, it was she. The pair had been inevitably matched up. Esther all the way. Guffaws filled the team. Thus, it was a second season loss for Sussex, who are already champions. Hey, have I mentioned that?

Then again, having written almost an entire paragraph rattling on about a pair of predictable questions, the set was good, bordering on the excellent, and perfectly suited for league needs. Well done, Rob Radinden.

And you know what. I wrote a friendly that very Sunday morning, c'est vrai, vraiment, constructed mostly from questions that couldn't find a home anywhere else, but like a pack of Littlest Hobos, travelling from show to newspaper to random charity quiz, they found work to do here. The questions are alright, though they be pariahs of a certain hue.

One team won 40-42 (yes, I wrote a quiz whose brutality had been diluted enough to warrant 40+scores on both sides: amazing). London might have been victorious. They were seated on my right. Whatevs.

Now, the Standard Operating Procedure has become the norm. In each round pick a number 1-8, feel cursed to get a question you know nothing about or the only three questions about relatively obscure sports facts. That's the way the cookie crumbles and needless, to say, as QM and QW, I had the last laugh, especially as I wrote the set while listening to this audiobook of sheer brilliance, nuance and other -ances.

Unanswered questions have been bolded up. Answers in a smaller font - a new innovation. You know you want to know if you could have beaten the failed answerers don't you? Don't you. You want to know if you're a WINNER. You winner.

Questions with dubious factage and coincidental usage in other arenas have been censored. For my sake.

And comments typed in the comment section about actual factual errors, which must first be approved by myself, will be briefly glanced at, but will not be published on this blog, because smartypants comment-posters got smarts that don't need showing off in this here darn tootin' trivia saloon. Yah here me? Y'all. I'm going all Back to the Future 3 tapering off into gangsta territory here. Time to get 'em out. Light 'em up, boys.

MARCH 11, 2012, PRESIDENT'S CUP FRIENDLY

ROUND 1
1 What was the surname of [CENSORED]?
[CENSORED]
2 Which star of The Young Ones wrote the autobiography Bigger Than Hitler - Better Than Christ?
RIK MAYALL
3 What was the earldom of the Dublin-born William Petty-FitzMaurice, 1st Marquess of Lansdowne, who became Prime Minister on July 4, 1782?
2ND EARL OF SHELBURNE
4 The former Blur bass player Alex James writes a weekly column for The Sun on which subject?
FOOD
5 The UK has three Independent National Radio stations: Classic FM, Talksport and what else?
ABSOLUTE RADIO
6 Which country's only competitive football win remains a 1-0 victory v Macedonia in a 2006 World Cup qualifier?
ANDORRA
7 During the time of the British Empire, "Jack Tar" was a common English term used to refer to who?
SEAMEN / SAILORS of the Merchant or Royal Navy
8 At 1493m, the Feldberg is the highest peak in which wooded mountain range in Baden-Württemberg?
BLACK FOREST

ROUND 2
1 Ponzi scheme fraudster Allen Stanford holds dual citizenship of the USA and which Caribbean country?
ANTIGUA & BARBUDA
2 Co-founded by Ingrid Newkirk in 1980, what claims to be the world's largest animal rights group?
PETA - People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals
3 Former West Indies opener Phil Simmons coaches which international cricket team?
IRELAND
4 Which charts are navigational maps based on compass directions and estimated distances observed by pilots at sea? The name is derived from the Italian adjective meaning 'related to harbours'.
PORTOLAN charts
5 Chosin Reservoir, Osan, and Taejon were major battles in which 20th century war?
KOREAN WAR
6 Which building has the first and only thatched roof permitted in London since the Great Fire of 1666?
SHAKESPEARE'S GLOBE / THE GLOBE THEATRE
7 In 1979, which Earl was assassinated by an IRA bomb planted in his fishing boat, the Shadow V, at Mullaghmore, County Sligo?
LOUIS MOUNTBATTEN, 1ST EARL OF MOUNTBATTEN OF BURMA
8 In which 1925 film does Charlie Chaplin's tramp travel to the Yukon?
THE GOLD RUSH

ROUND 3
1 Traffic lights inspired Ken Aston to come up with which sporting innovation?
RED & YELLOW CARDS
2 Phytotherapy is often used as a synonym for which type of traditional or folk medicine?
HERBALISM or HERBAL MEDICINE
3 The ancient Greek physician Hippocrates came from which island in the south Sporades group of the Dodecanese?
KOS - I think both teams got this one wrong, apologies to the correct answerer, if that wasn't the case
4 The American entrepreneur Reid Hoffman is best known as the co-founder of which social networking website, used mostly for business connections and job searching? It was launched in May 2003.
LINKEDIN
5 What is the chemical formula of formaldehyde - the simplest aldehyde?
CH2O
6 Who is the only Prime Minister not to have had his waxwork created for Madame Tussauds London because he was deemed to have not made a sufficient impact on the public?
GORDON BROWN
7 The Greek-born economist Vicky Pryce married which future Cabinet minister in 1984?
CHRIS HUHNE
8 Which Oscar-winning actor has played the spoof French spy OSS 117 in two films?
JEAN DUJARDIN

ROUND 4
1 Which Australian comedy actor shares his surname with the traditional home or dwelling of the Navajo people of the United States?
HOGAN
2 Which metric unit is equal to 0.0353 of an ounce?
GRAM
3 Who won his first Wimbledon men's singles title in 1988?
STEFAN EDBERG
4 A story about East German spies in Great Britain, Call for the Dead was the 1961 debut novel by which author?
JOHN LE Carré
5 Which German international media and TV awards are named after the titular fawn in a Felix Salten book?
BAMBI AWARDS
6 Invented in 1867 by Edward A Calahan, an employee of the American Telegraph Company, which type of type is named from the sound made by the machine as it printed?
TICKER TAPE
7 Tangled Up in Blue, If You See Her, Say Hello and You're a Big Girl Now are tracks on which 1975 Bob Dylan album?
BLOOD ON THE TRACKS
8 Audax and Randonneuring are long-distance forms of which Summer Olympic sport?
CYCLING

ROUND 5
1 A copy of the Mona Lisa, believed to have been painted at the same time as the original, went on display at which national art museum last month?
PRADO / MUSEO DEL PRADO - Rant begins: I saw it, it was, how shall I say it, "too sickly sweet", and ultimately, a bit bloody rubbish with its distracting eyebrows, but then I regard the original Mona with an overpowering nonchalance. But to see the crowds of people semi-donuting it, with the mob twelve-people deep, while TV camera crews scanned their, I swear, awed, eye-popped faces, was to witness a bunch of nincompoops pay homage to a newly buffed-up piece of extreme bullroar. I bet, when they found it lurking in storage, it looked like it had been covered in a layer of disfiguring cat poo. "Aha, we can make something of this", said the cunning Spaniard(s), whose supreme powers of cunning has led to global press coverage, of the like, er, whenever, something about Leonardo happens or is rehashed (see the Vasari-killing drilling for the Battle of Anghiari) All glory to the conservators to "restoring" something which might turn out to be utterly pointless. All hail the power of the Mona Lisa! Rant ends.
2 Named after a British scientist, based on his work in 1831, which law states that a magnetic field changing in time creates a proportional electromotive force?
FARADAY'S LAW OF INDUCTION
3 Named after a 16th century English financier, the more accurate statement of which law ends in the words "… if their exchange rate is set by law"?
GRESHAM'S LAW
4 With regards to the human body, the terms 'Vasoconstriction' and 'Vasodilation' refer to the narrowing and widening of what?
BLOOD VESSELS
5 The State Security Committee of the Republic of Belarus currently uses which three-letter Russian name?
KGB
6 What links the New York Observer, La Gazzetta dell Sport and the Financial Times?
PINK or SALMON-PINK PAGES
7 Isaac Newton served as an MP in two spells for which constituency?
CAMBRIDGE UNIVERSITY
8 The Polish-American Holocaust survivor Poldek Pfefferberg inspired Thomas Keneally to write which novel?
SCHINDLER'S ARK

ROUND 6
1 Played on film by Warren Beatty, who was "whacked" as he sat in Virginia Hill's Beverley Hills home on the night of June 20, 1947, while reading the Los Angeles Times?
"BUGSY" SIEGEL
2 Which 1940 John Cowper Powys novel is about the last native Welshman to hold the title Prince of Wales?
OWEN GLENDOWER
3 What is the most populous city of Romandy, Switzerland's French-speaking part?
GENEVA
4 The earliest sculpture in the Royal Collection, Guido Mazzoni's Laughing Child bust is a possible portrait of which future king as a 7-year-old boy?
HENRY VIII
5 In 2009, who won the first series of Let's Dance for Comic Relief, later Sport Relief?
ROBERT WEBB
6 In 1986, who defeated Frank Bruno by knockout in round 11 during the British boxer's challenge for the WBA heavyweight title?
TIM WITHERSPOON
7 Which French member of Les Six wrote the ballet Les biches and composed the operas The Breasts of Tiresias and The Dialogues of the Carmelites?
FRANCIS POULENC
8 Star of Dead Man's Shoes, which actor made his debut as a feature film director with the 2011 film Tyrannosaur?
PADDY CONSIDINE

ROUND 7
1 Which O'Hanlon's ale was first brewed in 1968 to mark the 40th anniversary of an eponymous writer's death?
THOMAS HARDY'S ALE
2 Which disorder of the intestine was known as flux or the bloody flux?
DYSENTRY
3 Which scientist co-hosts the Radio 4 show The Infinite Monkey Cage with the comedian Robin Ince?
BRIAN COX
4 Originating in Quebec and Acadia, what type of savoury dish is a Tourtiere?
MEAT PIE
5 Which Danish-born painter (1850-1921), whose work Fetching The Mark fetched $281,000 at auction in 2006, is known as the 'Audubon of Steam Vessels'?
ANTONIO JACOBSEN
6 In the West Side Story song 'America', what is both the "island of tropical breezes" and "island of tropic diseases"?
PUERTO RICO
7 Spending most of his working life on Anglesey, the painter Charles Tunnicliffe specialised in which subjects?
BRITISH BIRDS / WILDLIFE / NATURE
8 Which Marvel Comics super villain, genius inventor and enemy of the Fantastic Four is ruler of the European country of Latveria?
DOCTOR DOOM / VICTOR VON DOOM

ROUND 8
1 Which actor has played the vampire hunter Blade in a film trilogy that spanned the years 1998 and 2004?
WESLEY SNIPES
2 In an episode of Fawlty Towers, the American guest Mr Hamilton confuses Basil by asking for which dish, also the title of the episode?
WALDORF SALAD
3 The Western Roman Empire officially ended with the abdication of which man, the last de facto Emperor, under pressure from Odoacer in 476?
ROMULUS AUGUSTULUS
4 Originally a religious practice, which form of voice manipulation was called 'gastromancy' by the Greeks?
VENTRILOQUISM
5 Sharing its name with an African country, which Manhattan nightclub was famous during the 1930s and 1950s for its blue zebra stripe motif and its official photographer Jerome Zerbe?
EL MOROCCO
6 Which Nobel laureate originated the phrase "the world's oldest profession" in an 1888 story about a prostitute that begins "Lalun is a member of the most ancient profession in the world"?
RUDYARD KIPLING
7 The Indian and Pakistan sport of Kho kho, due to a popular misconception, is often confused with which other game?
KABADDI
8 Which pop star [CENSORED]?
LADY GA[NSORED]

NO SPARES. NO TIME. FIN.

Half a quiz

Anonymous commenter asks: "It's been a while ...Can You plz post some questions?"

I have a friendly from October. Well, an almost friendly. Sadly, I lost the rest of it because I wrote the remainder on my Blackberry, which died in an unfortunate Coca-Cola accident. It's lost for ever. Goddamnit!

[Calms down] So here it is:

President's Cup friendly October 9, 2011

Round 1
1 Which American won the Best Actress award at this year's Cannes Film Festival for her role in the Lars von Trier movie Melancholia?
KIRSTEN DUNST
2 Which Star Trek: The Next Generaction actor voices the head of the CIA, Avery Bullock, in the cartoon American Dad?
PATRICK STEWART
3 Jean Cocteau wrote the 1940 play Le Bel Indifferent for which French singer?
EDITH PIAF
4 Eleanor Roosevelt remarked "Poor Niagara" on seeing which waterfalls on the Argentine-Brazil border?
IGUAZU FALLS
5 According to a New York Herald Tribune journalist reporting from the 1904 St Louis World Fair, Fletcher Davis came up with the idea of selling snacks with which name?
HAMBURGER
6 What was the pseudonym of Edward Powys Mathers, who composed 670 crosswords for The Observer between 1926 and his death?
TORQUEMADA
7 Which defunct cable channel featured the TV shows Topless Darts and The Weather in Norwegian - two of many unorthodox ideas from former Sun editor Kelvin MacKenzie?
L!VE TV
8 Which member of The Mighty Boosh has published the art book The Scribblings of a Madcap Shambleton?
NOEL FIELDING

Round 2
1 Which fur or wool comes from the Karakul lamb of Central Asia? It was so named because it was first brought to Russia by traders from a city on the left bank of the Volga River.
ASTRAKHAN WOOL
2 Which supermarket sells the TU range of clothing?
SAINSBURY'S
3 Anglia Ruskin University has its two main campuses in Chelmsford and which university city?
CAMBRIDGE
4 In which sporting role has Joe LaCava replaced Steve Williams?
TIGER WOODS'S CADDY
5 Tim Walker's Mandrake gossip column features in which daily broadsheet newspaper?
DAILY TELEGRAPH
6 Which Arizona graveyard features the graves of Billy Clanton, Frank McLaury and Tom McLaury, the three men killed during the Gunfight at the OK Corral?
BOOTHILL GRAVEYARD / THE TOMBSTONE CEMETERY
7 Which oblong block of red sandstone is known by the Scottish Gaelic name An Lia Fail?
THE STONE OF SCONE / STONE OF DESTINY / THE CORONATION STONE
8 Passmores Academy in Harlow features in which Channel 4 reality TV show?
EDUCATING ESSEX

Round 3
1 Last month, which English musician began his residency show - The Million Dollar Piano - at Caesars Palace, Las Vegas?
ELTON JOHN
2 Which species of wolf is the largest extant wild member of the Canidae family?
GRAY WOLF / TIMBERWOLF
3 Tantris, Germany's first three-star Michelin restaurant, is in which city?
MUNICH
4 Born in Nuremberg in 1653, which composer is best known for the Canon in D, the only canon he wrote?
JOHANN PACHELBEL
5 Sweden's second largest island, Oland is separated from the mainland by which strait?
KALMAR STRAIT
6 The legendary founder of Mycenae, which Greek hero rescued Andromeda from a sea monster sent by Poseidon?
PERSEUS
7 Wilberforce Claybourne are the first names of which Are Young Being Served? character?
MR HUMPHRIES
8 Due to be next held in August 2012, what is the world's oldest and largest annual sailing regatta?
COWES WEEK

Round 4
1 Which low-mounted plumbing fixture has a name that is the French word for 'pony'?
BIDET
2 Henry FitzRoy, 1st Duke of Richmond and Somerset, was the bastard son of which king?
HENRY VIII
3 The 1972 Battle of Mirbat took place during the Dhofar Rebellion in which modern day Sultanate?
OMAN
4 In Greek mythology, which king of Tiryns imposed the Twelve Labours on Heracles?
EURYSTHEUS
5 Which Hungarian-born British author wrote the 1940 novel Darkness at Noon? He committed suicide with his wife in 1983.
ARTHUR KOESTLER
6 Paul Shaffer is the long-time musical sidekick of which American chat show host?
DAVID LETTERMAN
7 The Nafka is the currency of which country in the Horn of Africa?
ERITREA
8 Sharing its name with an archipelago in south-west Alaska, what is the largest species of brown bear?
KODIAK BEAR / KODIAK BROWN BEAR

Round 5
1 Boudicca's revolt against Romans took place during the reign of which emperor?
NERO
2 Which Synod decided the date of Easter in 664?
SYNOD OF WHITBY
3 The last spacecraft in its program, Mariner 10 was launched in 1973 to flyby which two planets?
MERCURY & VENUS
4 Which song from the album Revolver features absolutely no playing of instruments by The Beatles, though Lennon and Harrison did contribute harmony vocals?
ELEANOR RIGBY
5 Born in 1964, the American basketball player Cheryl Miller was the first ever woman to achieve which scoring feat in regulation play?
DUNK THE BALL / SLAM DUNK

I'm Still Here

Great Tom Waits song (see The Diving Bell and The Butterfly trailer)

So. Hello. Bruges is almost here. Time to defend. Chelsea-style (possibly).

So little time to do all the work I want to do. I feel mildly helpless. My biggest fear being - as always - that I will get something wrong that I knew and should have got right. Only this fear is magnified to humungous horrifying proportions on the only weekend in the quiz year, when the ultra-obscure know-how is wheeled out. Scary.

I will attempt to do a diary (a la an old BQC, which was crazy in a nice way), so yeah, this blog LIVES!

L.O.F.T.S.

Last Original Friendly of the Season

So we collected our President's Cup trophy (our third in four years) in surprisingly raucous yet slightly bittersweet fashion, while I made the usual silly elementary errors like confusing Australian lakes and deserts in the Brain of London final and finished third, one point behind Kevin, just like last year.

However, Kevin didn't win and since this was our third final together I think I may act as some kind of mystic jinx on his chances at winning his 11th BoL title. But very well done to Dave, whose dominant debut final performance did everything just right. Unlike me, who was told by Jesse straight afterwards: "You do better at written quizzes". Why, thank you for that piece of knifey knife insight.

WQC preparation madness syndrome has set in like never before, and as for the May 21st Clockwork quiz, it has even compelled me to - once and for all - learn about Francobelgian comics in détails graves (aid comes in the form of such UK publishers as Cinebook and starting buying series like XIII), with tentacles spreading into other area of BD Europe: the Italians! The Swiss! There be so many ... yet no longer will points be thrown away on such things. We Brits can't give up on such subjects because they come up time and time again and all we Anglos do is go 'huh?' because our own island's pop culture is horribly ignorant of its impact on the continent. Well, I won't have a really confident grasp for a few years - the kind of understanding that comes easily with the American graphic novel side of things (it helps if you actually read them rather than read Wikipedia synopses, I find). Let's see how it goes in the mean time - a time in which I feel utterly overwhelmed by the amount of info/sources/old quizzes/new books/old books that I have stacked in my room or stuffed in bags and lug around in a state of derangement. And there's still one month to go (so very little time, when one comes to think of it, considering Seneca now). However, I get a funny feeling in my tummy when I think about the work I'm putting in, meaning that I really do enjoy the prep, the revision, learning the new stuff. I wouldn't do it if I didn't like it.

Anyway, last bit of seasonal business to clean up: my last originally written friendly of the season. Memories are hazy, with regards to who got what right. I mean, I'm not even sure who won. Was it Beds & Herts? Was it Sussex? It's a 50/50. If it was the Brain of London final I would undoubtedly go for the wrong one, such is my QLL life.

Unanswered Qs bolded up yadda yadda ... you know the score ... hundred and five for septic ... and he kills the bad guys ... old Machete trailer quotes creeping in.

Yet I fear the following quiz is riddled with mistakes. Blame the lag time between writing and posting. So be warned and be wary of what purports to be the 'truth'.

President's Cup friendly: February 20

Round 1
1 Published in 1932, which Stella Gibbons debut novel parodied the so-called 'pessimistic ruralism' of Thomas Hardy?
Cold Comfort Farm
2 Which saint gives her name to the chapel that is Edinburgh's oldest building?
St Margaret
3 In Scotland, banknotes are issued by the Royal Bank of Scotland, the Bank of Scotland and which other bank?
Clydesdale Bank
4 Named after the Spanish king who abdicated in 1931, which bridge gives Seville access to the Atlantic?
Alphonse XIII
5 Belgica antarctica, the largest land animal on Antarctica, is a flightless species of which insect?
Midge
6 Known by the code BZV, Maya Maya airport serves which African capital city?
Brazzaville
7 The Kuna is the currency of which former state of Yugoslavia?
Croatia
8 Directed by Casey Affleck, the documentary I’m Still Here turned out to be a hoax. Which starring actor grew a beard, appeared on Letterman and embarked on a fake career in hip-hop?
Joaquin Phoenix

Round 2
1 The birthplace of Jimi Hendrix, which US city is home to the Experience Music Project museum?
Seattle
2 Which ruler of ancient Palestine was responsible for the beheading of John the Baptist?
Herod Antipas
3 The world's largest natural bridge with a span of 86 metres, which rock bridge is located in southern Utah, just north of the border of the border with Arizona? It takes its name from a weather phenomenon.
Rainbow Bridge
4 In 1846, the American inventor Richard Hoe was the first printer to develop a successful type of which press?
Rotary press
5 From 1701 to 1918, the kings of Prussia came from which German dynastic family?
Hohenzollern
6 In 1896, the American engineer Herman Hollerith founded a company that later expanded to become which corporation?
IBM
7 Which Irish dramatist wrote the plays Faith Healer and Dancing at Lughnasa?
Brian Friel
8 Gustav Holst wrote four sets of Choral Hymns from which Hindu sacred text?
Rig Veda

Round 3
1 Which Jewish spring festival commemorates the defeat of Haman's plot to massacre the Jews?
Purim
2 The Pygmalion that fell in love with an ivory statue was a mythical king of which island?
Cyprus
3 The term 'Pyrrhic victory' comes from Pyrrhus, who was the king of which ancient country?
Epirus
4 Which American Nobel Prize-winning physicist coined the term 'quark' from the phrase 'Three quarks for Muster Mark' in James Joyce's novel Finnegans Wake?
Murray Gell-Mann
5 Which jockey rode Arkle to victory in Cheltenham Gold Cup three times in the 1960s?
Pat Taaffe
6 Which 1971 film, starring Steve McQueen, is said to capture accurately what it feels like to drive a Gulf Porsche 917 at 200 miles per hour?
Le Mans
7 Aytron Senna made his Grand Prix debut in Brazil in 1984 with which team?
Toleman
8 Who became the first person to sail non-stop and single-handed around the world in his boat Suhaili?
Robin Knox-Johnston

Round 4
1 Which rotund snooker referee from Northern Ireland was immortalised in a 1985 song by Half Man Half Biscuit?
Len Ganley (as in The Len Ganley Stance)
2 In squash, what two-word term describes a super slow ball that is used at championship level?
Double yellow
3 In 1570, the Frenchman Henri Saint-Didier originally coined the names for the various movements used in which Olympic sport?
Fencing
4 Named after an American newspaper tycoon, what is the most celebrated trophy in hot-air ballooning?
Coupe Aeronautique Gordon Bennett
5 Which pseudonym was used by the American writers of detective fiction Frederic Dannay and Manfred Lee?
Ellery Queen
6 Meaning 'fast' in Hawaiian, what word generally refers to a website that can be edited by anybody?
Wiki
7 Which IBM computer beat Jeopardy! champions Ken Jennings and Brad Rutter in a series of TV shows that was broadcast in the US this week?
Watson - or Evil Watson, as I like to call him/it
8 Corregio decorated the dome of Italian city's cathedral with a highly influential illusionistic fresco?
Parma

Round 5
1 Later known for a brand of eponymous breakfast sausage, which country star had a 1961 US no. 1 with Big Bad John?
Jimmy Dean
2 The 1990 Mazda Cosmo was the first car to be equipped with what type of navigation system?
GPS
3 An invention of Queen Victoria’s lady-in-waiting, the Duchess of Bedford, what was first served at the Langham Hotel in London’s Regent Street in 1865?
Afternoon tea
4 Which King of England married Isabel, Countess of Gloucester and Isabelle of Angouleme?
John
5 Known by the abbreviation RLC, which corps, with over 16,000 soldiers, is the largest in the British Army?
Royal Logistics Corps
6 Used in the tea ceremony, which type of Japanese lead-glazed earthenware has a name that means 'enjoyment'?
Raku
7 What is the surname of Barbie's first boyfriend Ken?
Carson
8 Which film features Laurence Olivier asking Dustin Hoffman the question "Is it safe?" repeatedly?
Marathon Man

Round 6
1 Which movie news and reviews website derived its name from a John Travolta quote in the film Broken Arrow?
Ain't It Cool
2 Which BBC Monday night cookery show is hosted by model-turned-chef Lorraine Pascale?
Baking Made Easy
3 Napoleon Bonaparte is usually and wrongly blamed for destroying the nose of which monument?
Great Sphinx
4 The gardener Paulin Paulet and farm worker le père Alexander posed for which series of paintings done by Paul Cezanne in the 1890s?
The Card Players
5 Baal Shem Tov founded which branch of Orthodox Judaism?
Chasidism / Hasidic
6 A 55-foot high statue of which company mascot is found in Blue Earth, Minnesota?
Jolly Green Giant
7 CENSORED
8 Created in 1864, what is the world's best selling marmalade with over 14 million jars sold worldwide every year?
Robertson's Golden Shred

Round 7
1 In 1768, Bayleys of Bond Street was challenged by Count Orlof to create a perfume that embodied the distinctive aroma of the Russian court. Which fragrance was the result?
Imperial Leather
2 What is the only South American country with coastline on the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans?
Colombia
3 Which capital city on the Atlantic coast derives its name from the Arabic for 'fort of victory'?
Rabat
4 Piccadilly Circus gets its name from 'picadiles'. What item of clothing is a 'picadile'?
Stiff collar
5 What word comes after ‘Space’, ‘Splash’ and ‘Big Thunder’ to give the names of Disneyland rides?
Mountain
6 Which 1964 Burt Bacharach and Hal David cover gave Cilla Black her first UK number one single?
Anyone Who Had a Heart
7 Which 'Project' is the name of the government deal on banking reform?
Project Merlin
8 Starring Tura Satana as Varla, the 1965 cult classic Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill! was directed by which American filmmaker?
Russ Meyer

Round 8
1 What will become the world's newest state on July 9 this year?
South Sudan
2 The world's biggest landfill, Jardim Gramacho, is a 300-acre site located on the edge of which South American city?
Rio de Janeiro
3 Written by James Q. ‘Spider’ Rich, which Benny Hill theme tune was released as a 1963 single by Boots Randolph?
Yakety Sax
4 Which Master of the King's Musick composed the 1922 work A Colour Symphony?
Arthur Bliss
5 The 'instant' form of which drink was invented by the Japanese-American chemist Satori Kato in 1901?
Coffee
6 The TV station Al Jazeera is owned by the Sultan of which country?
Qatar
7 A sabaton is a piece of armour that protects which parts of the body?
Feet
8 Which Vanilla Ice number one sampled the Queen and David Bowie song Under Pressure?
Ice Ice Baby

Spares
Which Asian revolutionary leader worked as a waiter at London's Carlton Hotel?
Ho Chi Minh
Eleanor of Aquitaine's marriage to which French king was annulled in 1152??
Louis VII
What was the four-letter acronym of Chile's notorious secret police?
DINA
Directed by Michael Mann, the film Manhunter was based on which Thomas Harris novel?
Red Dragon
Google Honeycomb is a version of which operating system that is optimized for tablet computers?
Android
The NRA Imperial Meeting is a shooting event that takes place at which Surrey location?
Bisley Camp
Who was the father of King Henry IV?
John of Gaunt
Which US state's flag was designed at the request of King Kamehameha I?
Hawaii
Named from the Aramaic for ‘house of suffering’, which Biblical location is known by the modern name al-Eizariya and is home to the reputed Tomb of Lazarus?
Bethany
Quilling is the art or craft of what?
Paper filigree
Derived from an American Spanish word, what form of betting sees the better select the first two place-winners in a race, not necessarily in the correct order?
Quinella
Which 1st century AD Roman rhetorician is best known for his work Education of an Orator?
Quintilian
Which Polish-born ballet dancer formed the Ballet Club in 1930, a company that bore her name from 1935?
Marie Rambert (originally Cyvia Rambam)
Pope Honorius II granted papal sanction to which military order in 1128?
Knights Templar
The 1689 painting Avenue at Middelharnis is perhaps the best known work by which Dutch landscape painter?
Meindert Hobbema
Which architect designed St Mary's Scottish Episcopal Cathedral in Edinburgh?
Sir George Gilbert Scott
Which Pope excommunicated Elizabeth I in 1570?
Pius V
The Mara Salvatrucha gang were founded in Los Angeles in the early 1980s by immigrants from which Central American country?
El Salvador
The Royal Albert Memorial Museum is the largest museum in which county town?
Exeter
Princess Diana was a direct descendant of which king?
Charles II
As part of Tory defence cuts, the withdrawal of which patrol vessel is said to have encouraged Argentina to believe that Britain was no longer interested in the Falklands, thus resulting in the 1982 war?
John Biscoe

Looks Like It's The Met For Me

My 'congratulatory' text to Ian on winning Mastermind:

"Very very well done, ian. I scored 17 on your SS. I didn't get the Piombo apple Q. I did, however, go 'ahem' when you said every important painter is represented. The NG's lack of a Simone Martini, Hugo van der Goes or Georges de la Tour (nevermind lesser lights like Arcimboldo + Bazille) popped into my head immediately. And if the two Giorgiones are Giorgiones then I'm the King of Bhutan. My god. I've turned into such an insane art geek"

So a regulation congrats text that turned into a full blown critique of our nation's paintings collection, which despite my pointing out its relatively minor gaps (I've also read that we're missing a really seminal Gauguin), is probably - in terms of real quality - the most comprehensive/representative collection of 13th-19th century Western European paintings in the world.

The Prado, for instance, hasn't got a single Hals or Vermeer - the NG has eight and two respectively, and a single (admittedly great) Rembrandt against our score of paintings, while the Louvre is missing such key Italian primitives as Masaccio and Duccio. Also I don't believe the Louvre even have any Altdorfers or Elsheimers and its minor pair of Velazquezes are probably 'workshop of' paintings; the NG has a great mixture of nine works, including the Spaniard's only surviving nude (you know which one). I could go on, but I have a train to catch. And like I said ... 'insane art geek' - the kind that managed to visit five art museums in three different cities during my recent Amsterdam stag do weekend (the high culture, as it were, bookended the drinking/visiting the Red Light District bit when everyone had as yet not arrived or departed).

The Quiz Blogger Who Doesn't Blog. That's Me!

4 post in, erm, 7 months?

[BTW, there's a bunch of quiz questions after the wordage, which you shouldn't take too seriously. I'll look back on this stuff next week and think myself a nutter for writing it. Then I will press Edit and delete half of this cack. But, for now, I'll let it be]

Greetings, whatever is left of my long-suffering readership. The despairing yet hopeful hardcore. I was going to do the apologetic beyond belief thing, which admittedly gets tired and repetitive, but then I remembered this comment from a person with the name "Anonymous" way back...

"2 post [sic] in 5 months..a long time ago, this blog made sense to visit..not anymore".

Quite honestly, the above style of comment is the reason I have practically disappeared from The Facebook, blogging and living life on the internet. I no longer interact with the denizens of The Zuckerberg's digital FiefDom, unless, of course, they contact me (then I'm all peaches and cream and reply like a normal FB addict, replying with speed and agility, replying like a goddamn cheetah).

I was going to launch into a fierce, vengeful diatribe, filled with flesh-tearing and bone-crushing, imagery just like the old days. Now, in my increasingly geriatric state, I really can't be bothered. A kind of dull sensation smothers my brain when I consider it. It means Vienna to me.

Very few blogs matter. The ones that do often bless their writers with book deals or shiney new meeja careers. The millions? of others soldier on, ignored by the human race.

My blog - a learning tool, interspersed with, ahem, imaginative longueurs - never mattered in the way that the best ones do and if I ever thought it did my insane self probably deserved a trip to the loony bin and an old-fashion lobotomy. In fact, it wasn't even a blog - where was the regular diet of links, for instance? It wasn't even an interesting personal journal, so haphazard and sparse in real life were the posts. The lacunae wrecked its blogging raison d'etre.

And that was then. "A long time ago", at the peak of blogpost production, I would have replied with a novella-length screed railing against the deranged, self-righteous internet hordes* who fill comment sections with their ill-thought out opinions that stink out everyone's existence with a whole gamut of negative views that range from expressions of mild dislike to declarations of homicidal intent.

* Methinks the only people worse than the hateful hordes are the ones who leave comments like "I've never heard of this person" and "I've not seen this TV show yet". Okay, that just shows up your ignorance and total lack of self-awareness for commenting on something you know nothing about. You think just because you've never encountered this person before (take jack-of-all-trades master of none James Franco for instance, who had a Guardian interview comment section with exactly that kind of 'opinion' on it), means that they are somehow rubbish or insignificant. No, it means that you are a dumbass and what you thought was some kind of contribution to the debate was an utterly pointless and brain-dead thing to say. Why in God's name did you bother writing that comment? Everyone who reads it will think less of you.

Instead, ignoring the italicised paragraph above (that's me expunging my own interwebbed rage), I will do a more thoughtful analysis and not descend to the Stygian levels of the YouTube "hey you retarded Nazi-douchebag vagina face" commenter.

What makes me laugh is that the commenter, who makes the error of mistaking my blog for one that matters, somehow thinks that my blog was written for the web and users of the web, or more specifically, the commenter, when - and I've said this many a time - it was just me writing thousands of questions for my own study use and jotting some spontaneous opinions down that might one day form bits and pieces of a terrible-selling memoir of the quizzing life.

But since it was a blog, anyone was welcome to drop by and test them on the questions and even copy and paste them into mega-files for EQC/WQC revision (you're all welcome).

Not once did I write my blog as an open letter to the folks out there and make regular requests to my readers for info or opinion, or engage in an exchange of views and general chat (man, that makes me sound like a stone-faced knob).

If you want that kind of optimal blog experience read David Clark's brilliantly comprehensive Life After Mastermind, an all-out quiz blog that buzzes with the kind of supreme trivia-adoration that has long since faded in my mind.

Comparing TQB to LAM, mine comes off as unbelievably solipsistic, poverty-stricken in the volume of words department and ignorant of the 'community' out there, unless you count my constant declarations of sorrow and apology concerning the lack of blog postage. Which are just crap and boring, to be honest.

I've never attached the importance to this blog that is implicit in that 17-word dig. Perhaps meant as a concise knifing in my heart, it feels more like a light yet irritating nudge whilst waiting in a supermarket queue.

The annoyance soon passes.

It seems that this blog isn't worth visiting not because it was badly written or contained questions stolen verbatim from quiz books. It wasn't worth visiting because it wasn't functioning and was practically flatlining.

There was nothing to see for days on end - a real Terrence Malick situation, albeit completely devoid of anticipatory excitement and coos of wonder concerning my next production another President's Cup round-up!Huzzah!). The cumulative frustration of clicking on the link for The Quiz Blogger must have been increasingly disappointing (poor schnookums, I'm all Chaka Khanning for you), and now I've got a tiny inkling of how George R.R. Martin must feel.

My only attempt to treat it as an amateur journalistic enterprise was my Ken Jennings interview and after I did it, I realised, yeah, I could make this into a decent outpost for enlightened musings and interviews that would expose the ol' media stereotypes of the quizzer as hackneyed paradigms of shameful bullroar.

Such an endeavour requires real commitment and diligence and an eye always kept on things quizzical, and I just knew that I didn't have it in me to create that magazine-like package.

Instead, the blog would shoulder on with quiz questions and shoddy tourney reviews. But even that was forever ago. The reality is I don't care for blog hits, the orgasmic drug of many a devoted blogger, so there was no underlying urge to improve the formula and draw more people in. The possibility never moved me in the way it does the true blogmeister.

And, frequency-wise, the crucial thing it truly boiled down to was the real money-earning work that I was doing. Back in 2006, I was posting quiz after quiz, but I was a freelance with a lot, and I mean LOADS of free time on my hands. Days spent in bed watching seasons of the then new Battlestar Galactica in three-day bursts, DVD marathons and so on. Jeez, I could have been a wee bit more constructive there.

However, this blog was always bound to deteriorate rapidly once I changed career path and returned to working in an office, after four years of working from home, sweet relaxed lazy home. The blog is my job sacrifice (I can't believe I just wrote that line, but I'll leave it in. Possibly because I'm meta-man and a fully operational idiot).

Now I am a more-than-full-time question writer, doing what I did before but now getting a living wage for it, the old Dr Johnson quote about only blockheads writing for free comes to mind (he was so right).

Then there's the fact that I can't write about TV quiz shows like I used to for reasons that you can work out for yourself. Burning bridges in the media biz is no way to build a career; a career that has now consumed my old blogging habits.

So let me leave you with an exchange from The Simpsons episode 'The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show' to make my final, slightly shoddy point:

Bart: Hey, I know it wasn't great, but what right do you have to complain?
Comic Book Guy: As a loyal viewer, I feel they owe me.
Bart: What? They're giving you thousands of hours of entertainment for free. What could they possibly owe you? I mean, if anything, you owe them!
Comic Book Guy: Worst episode ever.

(And what if the comment was a joke that I have once again taken far too seriously? Ah well. Can't think of anything to write about that possibility. Or maybe I'm exhausted and/or lazy. What has just dawned on me is the scale of my over-reaction to what was seventeen words. Overblown indeed. And now I have a little giggle. You gotta laugh when you know you're drinking from a glass full of fizzing crazy)

But wait a minute. You want questions? Course you do. Only reason you're here. Bet you skipped the above paragraphs of earnest egocentricity.

Unanswered questions in bold, as per usual.

It was the Masterminders versus Sussex - President's Cup champions yet again! Though we knew nothing of impending glory, naturally.

The score was 42-26 to ... someone. It was such a long time ago. No decisive memory remains.

President's Cup friendly 30/1/2011

Round 1
1. Which Italian city gives its name to the women's world team championship in contract bridge?
VENICE - as in the Venice Cup
2. What is the oldest cricket competition (i.e. not an annual match like Eton versus Harrow) in the world?
COUNTY CHAMPIONSHIP
3. Which British sitcom was remade in the US in the 1970s, with comedian Red Foxx and Demond Wilson in the title roles?
STEPTOE AND SON (which became Sanford & Son)
4. The Volkskammer, or 'People's Chamber', was the parliament of which country?
EAST GERMANY / GDR
5. The last opera that Mozart worked on took its story from the life of which Roman emperor?
TITUS - as in La clemenza di Tito
6. Overthrowing King Faisal II, the July 14th Revolution of 1958 took place in which country?
IRAQ
7. What was first defined as the area that could be plowed in a day by a yoke of oxen?
ACRE
8. Inspired by his experiences as an orderly in World War One, which English artist decorated Sandham Memorial Chapel in Hampshire with a series of paintings?
STANLEY SPENCER

Round 2
1. Gruoch was the wife of which 11th century Scottish king?
MACBETH / MAC BETHAD MAC FINDLAICH
2. Which actor married, in chronological order, June Melville, Hattie Jacques and Joan Malin?
JOHN LE MESURIER
3. The Fields Medal is only awarded to mathematicians under which age?
FORTY YEARS OLD
4. Which large American birds belong to the genus Meleagris of the pheasant family?
TURKEY
5. Which system of musical notation and technique for teaching sight-singing was devised by Sarah Glover and popularised by John Curwen?
TONIC SOL-FA
6. Hearing of which president's death led to Dorothy Parker asking: "How could they tell?"?
CALVIN COOLIDGE
7. New York's Empire State Building was constructed on the site of which hotel?
WALDORF ASTORIA
8. What did Winston Churchill call "a philosophy of failure [and] the gospel of envy"?
SOCIALISM

Round 3
1. Krating Daeng was the Thai inspiration for which energy drink?
RED BULL
2. Recently bought in the IPL auction for $2.4 million by the Kolkata Knight Riders from the Delhi Daredevils, which Indian batsman is therefore the world's most expensive cricketer?
GAUTAM GAMBHIR
3. Much seen in Western films, which region of the Colorado Plateau on the southern border of Utah with northern Arizona is characterised by a cluster of vast sandstone buttes?
MONUMENT VALLEY
4. At the 2010 General Election, Naomi Long replaced Peter Robinson as MP for Belfast East. She belongs to which political party, whose leader is David Ford?
ALLIANCE PARTY
5. First held in 1925, the MacRobertson Shield is the leading tournament in which sport?
CROQUET
6. Where was the Grand National run between 1916 and 1918?
GATWICK
7. In Greek mythology, which faithful dog quickly recognised Odysseus on his return to Ithaca, despite the king's disguise as an old beggar?
ARGOS
8. Which unincorporated territory of the USA is the largest and southernmost of the Mariana Islands?
GUAM

Round 4
1. Also known as PCP, the drug 'phencyclidine' has what two-word nickname, which is also that of a Faith No More album?
ANGEL DUST
2. How many bones are there in an adult human's skull?
22
3. Known by the Latin name Diomedea exulans, which bird has the longest wingspan at 11.5 feet?
WANDERING ALBATROSS / SNOWY ALBATROSS / WHITE-WINGED ALBATROSS
4. What is the name of the single superocean that was formed 240 million years ago?
PANTHALASSA
5. Which mineral, with the composition SiO2, is at no. 7 on the Mohs scale of hardness?
QUARTZ
6. Launched on January 31st, 1958, which American satellite discovered Earth's radiation belts?
EXPLORER 1
7. Changed into a white-tailed deer (Odocoileus virginianus) in the Disney film, Bambi was originally which species in the books by Felix Salten?
ROE DEER
8. Which fruit tree in the rose family is sometimes known as the Japanese medlar?
LOQUAT

Round 5
1. Which DNA base pairs with thymine?
ADENINE
2. The Islamic calendar is calculated from which year - the year that saw Muhammad go from Mecca to Medina?
622 AD
3. Which saint's late 4th century Latin translation of the Bible is known as the Vulgate?
ST JEROME
4. Which King of Wessex was recognised as overlord of England in 828?
EGBERT
5. Giving his name to an alkaloid, which French ambassador in Portugal introduced tobacco into his native country in 1560?
JEAN NICOT
6. Edward the Martyr and Ethelred the Unready were the sons of which King, who was known as 'The Peaceful'?
EDGAR
7. The world's most vertical city, what was once described by Milton Friedman as the world's greatest experiment in laissez-faire capitalism?
HONG KONG
8. The accounting firm Arthur Andersen was effectively destroyed due to its role in which scandal?
ENRON

Round 6
1. Buildings in various parts of China often lack any floor name that has which number in it, due to its similarity to the Cantonese word for 'die'?
FOUR
2. McDonald's biggest local rival and Brazil's first fast food chain, Bob's was founded by and named after which American tennis player who won the Wimbledon singles title in 1948?
BOB FALKENBURG
3. Known by the abbreviation PV, which method of generating electrical power converts solar radiation into direct current electricity using semiconductors that exhibit the namesake effect? PHOTOVOLTAICS
4. Syria and Lebanon use which name for their currency?
POUND
5.The daily French newspaper with the highest circulation is Ouest-France. It is based in which northwestern city?
RENNES
6. Lying at the south of the island in the Malew parish, what is the ancient capital of the Isle of Man? King William's College is located nearby.
CASTLETOWN
7.In an Isaac Hayes song, "Who's the black private dick / That's a sex machine to all the chicks"?
SHAFT
8. Which American law professor's controversial memoir, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, claims that soft western parenting fails, while the Chinese version get hardline results?
AMY CHUA

Round 7
1. Opened in January 2010, which Jamaican airport is the first to have been named after an English-language writer?
IAN FLEMING
2. In 1956, Tunisia gained independence from France with which man as its first Prime Minister and then first President?
HABIB BOURGUIBA
3. Which English singer has released two albums: Alright, Still and It's Not Me, It's You?
LILY ALLEN
4. Which typographic character, as found on a computer keyboard, is known in Czech as a 'rollmop herring', in German as a 'monkey's tail' and in Hebrew as 'strudel'?
@
5. As seen on Yasser Arafat, which traditional headdress, typically worn by Arab and Kurdish men, is fashioned from a square, usually cotton, scarf?
KEFFIYEH / GHUTRAH / HATTAH / MASHADAH / SHEMAGH / PUSI
6. Which three consecutive letters in the alphabet give the name of a 'Royal Aviation Company' that was founded in October 1919?
KLM
7.Fought on October 20th, 1827, which Greek War of Independence battle saw a combined Ottoman and Egyptian armada destroyed by a combined British, French and Russian naval force?
NAVARINO
8. What is the most visited museum in the world?
LOUVRE

Round 8
1. Which Annie Lennox debut solo album features the hit singles Why, Walking on Broken Glass and Little Bird?
DIVA - Gavin was straight in there with the right answer. Twas a pity he was scoring the game
2. The instigator of the Arts and Crafts Movement, which Englishman declared that you should "have nothing in your home that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful"?
WILLIAM MORRIS
3. Written by Richard Ingrams and John Wells, the 'Dear Bill' letters in Private Eye purported to be the private correspondence of which man?
DENIS THATCHER
4. On May 3, 1966, which newspaper broke with tradition by putting news on the front page and its columns of classified advertising on the back?
THE TIMES
5.Nicknamed "Hubble Bubble", which Duke, who served as Prime Minister for 7 years and 205 days, is best known for leading Britain into the Seven Years War? His real name was Thomas Pelham-Holles.
DUKE OF NEWCASTLE
6. Director-General of MI5 from 1956 to 1965, which British journalist and secret-service agent was twice investigated on suspicion of being a Soviet spy?
SIR ROGER HOLLIS
7. Derived from the Latin word for 'apple', what name is given to the solid remains, as in in the skins, pulp and seeds, of grapes, olives or other fruit after pressing for juice or oil?
POMACE
8. Which English action film star has played the title role in three Transporter movies, as well as a 2011 remake of The Mechanic - a character previously played by Charles Bronson?
JASON STATHAM

Spares
The Church Commissioners have decided to sell which castle in Cumbria - the home of the Bishop of Carlisle?
ROSE CASTLE
Kumite and Kata are individual competitions at which sport's world championship?
KARATE
What is the more common name for a plantar wart?
VERRUCA
Which song became the breakout hit for The Supremes after The Marvelettes rejected it for being too childish?
WHERE DID OUR LOVE GO